rongs 

_  f 


Ul 

arrieb 


UCSB 


WRONGS  OF  MARRIED  MEN, 


Other  Essays,^ 


BY  LADY  COOK, 


NO.  2  OP  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 


PRICE,  IO   GENTS. 


PUBLISHED    BY 

SECULAR  SCIENCE  CO. 

Atlas  Block,   Chicago. 

1900. 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO. 


Wrongs  of  flfcarrteb 


The  circumstances  relating  to  marriage  are  becoming  so  con- 
fused and  anomalous  that  a  re-casting  of  the  laws  pertaining  to  it 
must  soon  be  universally  demanded.  At  present  married  people 
scarcely  know  where  they  are.  The  daily  papers  constantly  give 
most  pathetic  accounts  of  injured  husbands  in  humble  life  resorting 
to  police-magistrates  for  assistance  or  advice,  and  finding  that  they 
have  no  remedy  against  the  misconduct  of  their  worthless  partners. 
We  have  not  been  sparing,  from  time  to  time,  in  enumerating  the 
wrongs  of  women.  But  the  men  have  theirs  also,  to  a  less  degree. 
and  it  is  only  equitable  that  attention  should  be  drawn  to  them, 
for  justice  and  fair  play  should  be  given  to  all.  We  have  never 
demanded  thatwromen  should  have  any  privileges  denied  to  men. 

Not  long  ago  when  the  law  gave  the  husband  sole  control  of 
the  wife's  unsettled  property,  it  was  right  that  he  should  be  liable 
for  her  maintenance.  But  when,  as  now,  a  married  woman  retains 
her  own,  the  reason  for  compelling  maintenance  from  the  husband 
has  disappeared.  She  may  have  a  good  house  and  a  good  income, 
and,  from  caprice  or  other  cause,  may  deny  him  admittance  to  hia 
married  home  and  to  any  share  of  her  living.  If  destitute,  he  may 
go  to  the  workhouse,  while  she  is  living  in  luxury,  and  no  claim 
can  be  made  upon  her  for  his  sustenance.  But  reverse  the  positions 
and  the  husband  will'  be  compelled  to  allow  her  a  maintenance. 
This  system  falls  hardest  on  the  poorest.  It  is  not  uncommon  for  a 
police-magistrate  to  order  a  working  man  to  contribute  twelve  shil- 


SENSE  LIMRARY. 

lings  a  week,  or  more,  to  the  support  of  a  separated  wife.    Few 
men  of  such  a  class  can  do  this  and  live. 

Again,  since  the  Jackson  case,  no  husband  can  compel  en  un- 
willing wife  to  cohabit  with  him.  Of  course  this  is  right  enough. 
But,  on  the  other  hand,  a  wife  can  compel  an  unwilling  husband, 
by  a  judge's  order,  to  restore  her  to  cohabitation  or  pay  the  penalty 
of  refusal'.  This  seems  an  unfair  distinction.  If  a  husband  neglect 
his  wife  and  family  so  that  it  become  constructive  cruelty,  the 
wife  can  obtain  a  separation  order  without  so  much  as  the  asking. 
But  a  wife  may  spend  her  days  in  dissipation,  may  frequent  public- 
houses,  and  neglect  her  children,  and  the  husband  has  neither 
remedy  nor  power  to  prevent  her. 

The  wife  may  be  a  nagger,  a  scold,  a  perpetual  tormentor — one 
of  the  class  whom  our  humorous  and  practical1  forefathers  cured 
by  the  application  of  to  ducking-stool  and  a  horse-pond — she  may 
be  guilty  of  any  misconduct  short  of  adultery,  and  the  unfortunate 
husband  must  put  up  with  it  all .  Many  such  fly  for  refuge  to  the 
nearest  tavern,  and  drown  their  misery  in  drink,  and  often  become 
criminal  from  their  misfortune.  Many  an  honest,  hard-working 
man,  too,  is  punished  by  the  magistrates  because,  in  his  absence 
from  home,  his  wife  neglected  her  duties  and  kept  his  children 
from  school.  If  the  fines  are  not  paid,  it  is  he  who  is  imprisoned, 
and  not  the  culprit  wife. 

Widows  can  claim  one-third  of  the  personalty  of  husbands  dyin : 
intestate,  but  widowers  have  only  a  life-interest  in  the  unwille-l 
property  of  deceased  wives. 

As  a  rul'e  the  husband  has  to  work  hard  to  maintain  his  wife 
and  family,  but,  however  humble  their  circumstances  may  be,  the 
wife  can,  if  she  will,  be  as  idle  as  she  please,  and  her  husband  has 
no  remedy.  The  law  will  punish  him  for  his  neglect,  but  not  her 
for  hers.  Formerly  he  could  castigate  her;  now  he  must  not  so 
much  as  threaten.  A  working  man  complains  to  a  magistrate  that 
his  wife  neglects  to  get  his  meals,  and,  when  she  should  be  tidying 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO. 

his  home,  spends  her  time  gossiping  in  a  public-house.  "Very 
sorry,"  replies  the  magistrate,  "but  I  can  do  nothing  for  you.  You 
have  taken  her  for  better  or  worse;  you  must  grin  and  bear  it." 
He  refuses,  and  leaves  her,  and  she  straightway  obtains  a  mainten- 
ance order  against  him.  But  would  not  easy,  cheap,  and  swift 
divorce  be  a  fairer  and  more  sensible  mode  of  settling  their  diffi- 
culty? Ought  the  law  to  ccmpel  people  to  commit  adultery  beforo 
they  can  obtain  it? 

These  are  some  of  the  wrongs  under  which  married  men  suffer 
owing  to  the  radical  changes  which  have  taken  place  in  the  rela- 
tions of  husband  and  wife  since  marriage  was  made  a  religions 
sacrament.  A  more  rational  perception  of  its  nature,  however,  is 
beginning  to  prevail,  and  it  is  time  that  all  these  and  other  anoma- 
lies should  cease.  The  religious  idea  of  its  character  must  give 
way.  Marriage  will  have  to  be  thoroughly  reconstructed  on  the 
basis  of  a  civil  partnership,  terminable  at  will',  or  from  breach  of 
contract,  as  in  other  associations.  Even  time  partnerships,  to  lapse 
at  the  end  of  a  term — say  seven  or  any  other  number  of  years  to 
be  agreed  upon — would  be  better  than  the  haphazard,  happy-go- 
lucky  system  now  in  vogue.  These,  if  agreeable,  could  be  renewed 
or  continued  at  the  will  of  both.  As  Mr.  Labouchere  has  just  said 
in  the  House  of  Commons,  the  law  of  divorce  is  utterly  absurd. 
"If  two  people,"  he  added,  "wanted  to  be  married,  let  them  be 
married,  and  if  they  want  to  be  divorced,  let  them 
be  divorced."  Although  these  opinions  were  greeted  with 
much  laughter  by  the  House,  as  though  they  were  excessively 
funny,  they  were  nevertheless  correct,  and  domestic  happiness  will 
never  be  universal  until  they  be  received  as  serious  truths.  Should 
there  be  children  of  those  separated,  it  would  be  a  simple  matter 
to  compel  parents  to  set  aside  a  sum  for  their  support  in  a  ratio 
according  to  the  individual  property  of  each.  This  would  put  an 
end  to  the  filthy  acounts  of  divorce  suits  which  pollute  our  daily 
papers,  and  obtain  ready  admittance  into  families  where  a  serious 


o  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

essay  on  manners  and  morals  is  often  excluded  because  it  contains 
a  little  necessary  plain  speaking — as  though  omelettes  could  be 
expected  without  breaking  eggs. 

If  people  could  divorce  themselves  at  will  and  without  publicity 
they  would  be  as  careful  to  preserve  each  other's  esteem  after, 
as  they  were  before  marriage.  We  should  then  seldom  see  what  so 
frequently  happens  now;  the  charming,  neat,  obliging,  fiancee, 
developing  into  the  giddy,  careless  slatternly,  and  dis-obliging 
wife,  or  the  ardent  and  devoted  lover  cooling  down  into  the  neglect- 
ful and  heartless  husband.  Those  truly  married  woul'd  continue 
to  do  all  they  could  to  please  each  other;  and  those  superficially 
united  would  practice  the  outward  decencies  of  married  life  from 
mutual  and  sell  interests.  Marriage  would  cease  to  be  the  grave 
of  love,  and  the  sum  total  of  human  happiness  would  be  immensely 
increased.  Possession  during  good  behaviour  is  far  better  for  our 
weak  human  nature  than  possession  absolute.  In  the  state  of 
Illinois,  where  divorce  is  as  easy  as  possible,  only  one  couple  in 
seven  resort  to  it  including  strangers  who  visit  there  for  the  pur- 
pose, so  that  of  the  inhabitants,  perhaps  not  more  than  one  in  four- 
teen couples,  or  one  person  in  twenty-eight,  desire  to  break  through 
the  marriage  bond.  The  nature  of  marriage  would  be  elevated  by 
bringing  it  as  nearly  as  possible  to  a  condition  of  mutual  satisfac- 
tion. Morality  would  be  increased  through  it.  All  that  are  re- 
quired to  effect  these  ends  axe:  equal  conditions  of  partnership, 
civil  contract,  and  easy  method  of  separation. 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO. 


flftorals. 


It  is  an  old  saying,  that  nothing  makes  or  mars  a  man  like  mar- 
riage. And  the  saying  is  true,  for  we  all  agreed  that  marriage  draws 
after  it  inevitable  consequences,  and.  those  who  marry  in  haste  are 
leift  to  repent  at  leisure,  because  it  is  thought  to  be  in  no  one's 
power  to  help  them.  Another  proverb  tells  us  that  marriages  are 
made  in  heaven,  but  this  is  not  in  favor  with  match-making  moth- 
ers, who  think  they  can  manage  these  delicate  matters  a  great  deal 
better  than  Providence.  When  a  man  is  about  to  choose  a  com- 
panion for  life,  he  certainly  does  well  to  consider  that  he  is  taking 
a  very  serious  step;  and  it  must  be  admitted  that,  if  we  except  our 
common  sailors,  who  have  singularly  loose  notions  on  the  subject, 
marriage  is  regarded  by  every  class  of  the  American  people  as  a. 
thing  not  to  be  lightly  entered  on.  The  chief  reason  of  this  is,  that 
marriage  still  exihibits  itself,  even  to  the  Protestant  mind,  in  a 
quasi-sacramental  dress;  the  next  is,  that  the  obstacles  to  divorce 
fare  much  more  formidable  than  formerly.  Subordinate  to  these  is 
a  third  reason,  operating  largely  with  that  section  of  the  commun- 
ity which  occupies  a  middle  place  between  the  plutocracy  and 
the  masses — I  mean  the  possibility  of  having  to  provide  for  a  num- 
erous family.  If  there  is  one  thing  which  more  than  another  is 
thought  to  be  out  of  the  sphere  of  calculation,  it  is  the  number  of 
"hostages  to  fortune"  which  a  man  who  marries  will  be  called  upon 
to  give.  "Leave  such  vaticinations,"  says  Mrs.  Grundy,  "to  the 


8  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

astrologers  or  the  gipsies;  you  will  have  as  many  children  as  are 
good  for  you,  neither  more  nor  less." 

And  yes,  in  spite  of  all  that  is  implied  to  the  contrary,  in  the  or- 
dinary parlance  of  the  day,  there  is  nothing,  if  we  reflect  on  it,  for 
which  we  are  more  responsible  than  the  reproduction  of  our  own 
species.  All  but  absolute  fatalists  must  admit  that  it  is  open  to 
men  and  women  to  abstain  from  marriage  altogether,  or  to  put  it 
off  for  an  indefijtite  number  of  years.  Opinions  may  differ  on  the 
question  whether  prolonged  celibacy  is  or  is  not  a  good  thing,  but 
no  one  can  doubt  that  the  state  itself  is,  at  all  events  with  the  male 
sex,  the  result  of  free  choice.  It  is  a  little  wonderful,  therefore, 
to  find  thousands  of  married  persons  manifestly  holding  it  to  be 
their  duty  to  bring  into  the  world  as  many  children  as  possible, 
while  no  one  thinks  of  blaming  those  who  remain  single  for  not 
furthering  the  multiplication  of  mankind.  But  this  is  only  one 
inconsistency.  The  strangest  of  all  is,  that  it  seems  to  be  taken 
for  granted  that  marriage  once  entered  upon,  all  control  over  our- 
selves not  only  ceases,  but  ought  to  cease;  and  that,  instead  of  the 
conjugal  relations  being  subject  to  regulative  laws,  husbands  and 
wives  have  no  standard  of  morality  corresponding  to  that  which 
is  set  up  for  the  government  of  other  folk. 

The  time  has  arrived  when  it  has  become  necessary  to  use  plain 
speech  on  this  matter,  and  I,  for  one,  can  no  longer  hesitate  to 
av©w  my  belief  that  this  last  view  of  marriage  is  not  only  vicious  in 
principle,  but  often  fraught  with  the  most  mischievous  conse- 
quences. For  what  does  it  amount  to?  First,  it  involves  a  break 
in  the  c-ducation  of  Humanity,  which  is  incompatible  with  the  con- 
tinuity of  moral  growth,  and  has  no  parallel  in  the  processes  of  de- 
velopment of  the  physical  world.  Secondly,  as  held  by  the  middle 
and  upper  middle  classes,  it  means  that  man  is  free  up  to  a  certain 
point  in  his  career;  free,  that  is,  to  choose  his  own  vocation,  to 
work  out  the  best  part  of  himself,  to  enlarge  his  experience  by 
i  ravel,  to  recreate  his  strength  by  leisure,  to  store  his  mind  with 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO. 

varied  knowledge;  but  that  when  he  marries  he  surrenders  this 
freedom  utterly,  embarks  on  an  unknown  sea,  exposes  his  fair  hopes 
to  shipwreck,  here  and  there  has  to  exhaust  all  his  energies  in  the 
toil  and  stress  of  life — in  a  word,  becomes  a  victim  to  new  circum- 
stances, against  which  it  is  vain  for  him  to  struggle.  Is  there  one 
of  us  who  can  not  call  to  mind  a  dozen  instances  of  this  kind  among 
our  acquaintance?  Look  at  the  poor  married  clergymen,  whose 
families  have  passed  into  a  proverb.  Twenty-five  years  ago,  the 
man  whose  hair  is  now  silvering  with  premature  age  had  a  repu- 
tation in  his  college,  was  enthusiastic  in  the  cause  of  science,  con- 
spicuous for  general  culture,  promised  many  brilliant  things;  since 
then  he  has  had  ten  children,  for  whose  education  (all  he  had  to 
give  them)  he  has  overtaxed  his  powers  till'  he  has  sunk  to  the  level 
of  his  own  drudgery,  and  his  mind  has  become  the  mind  of  a  peda- 
gogue. His  friends  are  at  a  loss  whether  to  pity  or  to  praise  him 
most.  "Excellent  fellow!"  they  exclaim,  <cbut  he  has  been  sorely 
weighted  in  the  race  of  life.  To  put  out  so  many  boys  in  the 
world  is  too  much  for  any  man ."  So  is  walking  thirty  miles  a  day 
up  a  hill  for  ten  successive  days,  or  any  other  similar  self-imposed 
task;  and  if  we  do  survive  the  achievement,  where  is  the  glory  if  it 
leaves  us  at  the  finish  but  the  wreck  of  our  proper  selves?  We 
may,  perhaps,  have  learned  some  virtues  in  the  process,  such  as 
patience,  resignation,  the  habit  of  sustained  effort;  but  these  we 
could  have  made  our  own  equally  well  in  other  paths  of  life,  glad- 
dened by  grander  glimpses  of  Nature's  universe,  as  helps  to  lift 
our  hearts.  What  right  has  any  one  of  us  deliberately  to  narrow 
his  own  intellectual'  horizon,  any  more  than  to  cut  off  his  right 
hand  or  put  out  one  of  his  eyes? 

If  we  turn  from  the  husband  to  the  wife,  the  prospect  is  often 
still  more  melancholy,  and  this  from  the  very  fact  that  it  is  not 
considered  either  by  herself  or  those  around  her  to  call  for  any 
particular  sympathy.  I  pass  by  the  recurrence  of  her  physical 
suffering,  the  months  of  dreary  outlook,  uncrowned  by  any  ade- 


10  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

quate  reward  when  they  only  result  in  adding  a  fresh  term  to  a 
series  already  too  long.  I  pass  by  the  heedless  risking  of  the  ma- 
tured and  more  valuable  life  for  one  whose  approach  was  no  sig- 
nal for  joy,  and  whose  chance  of  foothold,  now  that  he  has  come, 
is  openly  acknowledged,  by  those  who  love  him  best,  to  be  too  faint 
for  speculation.  The  unnecessary  multiplication  of  children  causes 
greater  disasters  than  these,  although  not  so  patent  to  the  super- 
ficial observer.  It  tends  to  arrest  the  education  of  the  married 
woman  at  its  most  critical  stage,  and,  by  absorbing  her  whole  at- 
tention, renders  her  incapable  of  fulfilling  duties  for  which  she 
might  be  otherwise  fit,  or  might  easily  fit  herself.  Society,  it  is 
true,  decs  not  require  a  wife  to  be  much  more  than  the  head  domes- 
tic of  her  establishment,  and  if  her  nursery  is  full1,  it  commonly 
permits  her  head  to  be  empty.  Where  this  is  the  case,  the  germ 
of  the  mischief  may  be  dormant  for  a  time,  but  the  day  inevitably 
comes  when  it  springs  into  life,  and  the  children  have  forced  upon 
them  the  painful  consciousness  that  they  have  outgrown  at  least 
one  of  their  parents.  Who  shall  say  whether  the  maternal  influ- 
ence ha?  not  in  that  awakening  received  its  death-blow?  "A  fool- 
ish son,"  says  Solomon,  "is  a  heaviness  to  his  mother."  It  is  equal- 
ly true  that  a  foolish  mother  is  lightly  esteemed  by  her  son. 

It  can  not  but  be  that  both  sexes  should  suffer  when  either 
transgresses  the  due  limits  which  it  is  in  the  power  of  each  to  ob- 
serve; but  the  deterioration  which  the  woman  undergoes  in  the 
process  is  far  greater  than  that  of  the  man.  Everybody  admits 
that  this  is  true  of  the  single  state,  but  it  is  not  less  true  of  the  mar- 
ried, and,  indeed,  has  a  wider  application  there;  for,  whereas  the 
enlarged  sense  of  responsibility  which  an  increasing  family  creates 
may  act  on  the  father  as  a  spur  to  greater  exertion,  the  concentra- 
tion of  the  mother's  whote  being  on  the  details  of  the  domestic 
drama  grows,  and  must  grow,  with  each  new  birth,  until,  at  last, 
her  daily  life  becomes  one  theater  of  trivialities,  the  curtain  of 
which  is  never  allowed  to  drop.  Nor,  usually,  would  she  have  it 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  n 

otherwise.  Sufficient  for  her  if  the  teething  is  not  abnormally 
troublesome,  or  the  pleasing  variation  of  the  measles  and  whoop- 
ing-cough does  not  recur  too  frequently.  Life  for  her  has  only  two 
practical  sides,  maternity  and  the  management  of  her  household. 
The  higher  education  of  women,  she  remarks,  may  be  a  capital 
theme  for  learned  spinsters  to  descant  upon,  but,  she  adds,  with  a 
complacent  sneer,  these  advanced  females  will  soon  sober  down 
when  they  have  had  half-a-dozen  babies.  Inquire  her  views  on 
any  of  the  topics  of  the  day,  her  mind  is  either  a  blank,  or,  if  in- 
telligent, she  catches  up  the  last  expression  of  her  husband's  opin- 
ion upon  them,  sometimes  echoing  his  very  words;  ask  her  if  she 
keeps  up  any  of  those  interests  which  had  so  great  a  charm  for  her 
girlhood,  she  tells  you  she  has  never  had  a  moment  to  spare  since 
her  marriage;  will  she  play  you  that  air  of  Beethoven  which  still, 
at  the  end  of  six  years,  lingers  in  your  memory?  She  never  touchea 
the  piano  now. 

Persons  of  this  description  earn  among  their  admirers  the  title 
of  motherly  women,  and  any  depreciation  of  them  would  ba  un- 
just if  it  were  the  plain  duty  of  one  generation  to  sacrifice  itself 
to  the  next,  or  if  the  advantages  to  be  gained  by  this  sacrifice  were 
such  ad  to  make  it  a  legitimate  one.  But  the  first  alternative  is 
refuted  by  logic,  and  the  secoill  by  experience.  To  suffer  for  the 
sake  of  posterity  may,  in  individual  cases,  be  self-devoton  of  the 
highest  order;  but  to  inculcate  this  as  a  general  duty  would  be  to 
promulgate  the  revolting  doctrine,  that  the  scheme  of  creation 
is  one  of  progressive  misery.  The  popular  belief  that  fortune  fa- 
vors large  families,  is  mainly  due  to  the  fact  that  when  the  mem- 
bers of  them  do  passably  well  people  at  once  begin  to  comment 
on  it.  The  same  amount  of  success  with  smaller  numbers  would 
attract  no  attention,  or  would  be  attributed  to  special  oportuni- 
ties.  If  the  children  are  not  to  sink  in  the  social  scale  below  the 
position  of  their  parents,  they  must,  when  numerous,  bear  a  large 
amount  of  strain  of  mind  or  body,  or  both;  and  given  a  perfectly 


12  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

healthy  frame,  this  may  do  them  no  permanent  harm.  But  the 
coses  are  few  in  which  the  frame  is  perfectly  healthy,  and  then  the 
hot-bed  system  of  education,  let  parents  ignore  it  as  they  may,  is 
little  short  of  ruinous.  Can  anything  be  more  baleful  to  boys  of 
ten  or  twelve  years  of  age  than  to  compel  them  to  endure  com- 
petitive examinations  in  all  sorts  of  subjects  with  which  it  is  im- 
possible that  they  can  hare  any  real  acquaintance?  Yet  this  is 
what  is  required  in  nearly  all  our  public  schools  before  a  boy  can 
enter  there,  and  every  year  scores  of  mere  children  are  turned 
away  overwhelmed  with  surprise  at  the  exceeding  bitterness  of  their 
first  icbuff  in  life.  It  is  strange  that  a  boy  should  have  to  be 
crammed  before  he  is  taught,  but  this  is  now  the  recognized  plan, 
and  as  complete  an  organization  exists  for  the  one  purpose  as  for 
the  other. 

Moreover,  in  forecasting  the  fate  of  large  families,  there  is  one 
evil  star  which  is  no  rare  phenomenon  in  their  horoscope.  Account 
must  be  taken  of  the  proportion  of  dullards  that  are  born  into  the 
world' — that  is  to  say,  of  those  who,being  without  natural  gifts,  find 
themselves  outstripped  by  their  more  nimble- witted  rivals,  and  who 
are  left  behind  in  despair,  not  so  much  at  the  defeat  itself  as  at  the 
contempt  with  which  it  is  regarded  by  the  on-lookers.  There  can, 
of  course,  be  no  race  unless  some  one  is  beaten,  and  the  advocates 
of  universal  competition  are  therefore  bound  to  require  that  weak- 
ness and  strength  shall  be  ranged  side  by  side  at  starting,  if  only 
by  way  of  doing  justice  to  their  own  pet  theory.  This  i?  all  v.-rv 
well  so  long  as  both  weak  and  strong  are  "placed"  somewhere 
et  last:  but  we  see  every  day  that  the  weak  not  only  go  to  the  wall, 
but  are  cruelly  squeezed  when  they  get  there.  Who  is  to  blame  for 
this?  The  crowd  that  squeezes,  or  those  that  get  the  crowd  togeth- 
er? And  are  we  to"  acquit  the  originators  of  the  fatal  pressure,  be- 
cause they  have  acted  unthinkingly  or  with  that  ignorant  fanati- 
cism that  mistakes  the  indulgence  of  man's  inclinations  for  the 
furtherance  of  nature's  purposes? 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  13 

But  the  lot  of  the  boys  is  an  enviable  one  compared  with  that  o-f 
the  girls,  who  being  the  more  feeble,  are  unfortunately  also  the 
more  plentiful.  Granted  that  education  in  their  case  may  be  pro- 
cured at  a  much  cheaper  rate;  but  when  cheapness  and  inferiority 
go  hand  in  hand,  the  purchaser  gains  little  by  his  bargain.  There 
never  was,  probably,  a  greater  delusion  in  the  world  than  the  ordi- 
nary young  ladies'  school;  and  the  flimsy  accomplishments  learned 
there,  eo  far  from  accomplishing  anything,  are  apt  to  evaporate  af- 
ter marriage  as  quickly  as  a  blown  soap-bubble.  Nor  can  attend- 
ance later  on  at  a  few  scientific  lectures,  even  when  the  lady  student 
condescends  to  take  notes,  supply  radical1  defects  of  intellectual  con- 
stitution, due  partly  to  imperfect  training,  and  partly  to  the  mental 
tight  lacing  of  catechismal  formularies  which  impedes  the  circula- 
tion of  new  ideas.  But  let  this  pass  for  the  moment  as  beside  my 
present  point.  Improve  the  education  of  girls  as  you  will,  all  can 
not  be  made  self  dependent,  and,  as  things  at  present  stand  in 
America,  a  considerable  number  of  them  cannot  possibly  become 
wives.  A  more  unhappy  condition  than  that  of  a  middle-aged  spin- 
ster, cast  adrift  with  no  interest  and  no  definite  occupation,  it  is 
difficult  to  imagine.  The  institutions  of  the  country  can  only  pro- 
vide work  for  a  few.  Others  must  seek  their  homes  among  stran- 
gers, where  their  presence  is  only  tolerated  for  the  sake  of  their 
purses,  or  become  exotics  in  the  establishments  known  as  general 
boarding-houses,  where  the  selfishness  and  eccentricity  of  the  in- 
mates are  observed  to  increase  directly  with  the  time  during  which 
they  have  been  "planted  out." 

Such  are  some  of  the  miseries  which  flow  from  the  excess  of 
population  in  that  section  of  the  community  which  enjoys  qualified 
independence,  and  goes  by  the  name  of  the  middle  class.  But  thi« 
is  a  small  portion  of  the  people,  and  it  is  not  until  we  apply  the 
argument  to  the  masses  which  underlie  the  whole  fabric  of  society 
that  we  realize  its  supreme  importance.  It  would  not  be  difficult 
to  show  that  to  'initiate  limitation  of  numbers  among  those  who 


11  COMMON  SKXSE  LIBRARY.  ' 

support  themselves  by  manual  labor  would  be  to  introduce  the 
germ  of  nearly  every  social  reform,  and  that  without  Jach  limita- 
tion social  reform  can  effect  scarcely  any  permanent  good.  Take 
the  case  of  the  agricultural  laborer,  as  the  one  which  for  the  mo- 
ment engrosses  the  largest  share  of  public  attention.  What  is  the 
ultimate  value  of  a  rise  in  wages,  whether  extorted  by  means  of  an 
actual  strike  or  wisely  conceded  before  a  strike  has  become  practi- 
cable, if  there  is  to  be  no  limit  to  the  family  wants  which  the  few 
extra  shillings  a  week  are  destined  to  supply?  Where  is  the  room 
for  sanitary  legislation  when  cottages  are  overstocked  with  human 
life,  and  neither  doctor  nor  clergyman  thinks  of  telling  the  parents 
that  in  their  utter  recklessness  of  multiplication  they  are  wronging 
both  themselves  and  their  offspring?  To  reply,  as  is  sometimes 
plausibly  done  by  the  optimist,  that  if  there  are  seven  or  eight  chil- 
dren in  the  cottage,  three  -are  certain  to  be  bread-winners,  is  only 
to  reveal  unconsciously  the  most  malignant  feature  of  the  disease. 
To  escape  starvation,  hundreds  of  boys  and  girls  have  had  to  spend 
in  stone-picking  and  crow-clapping  hours  which,  if  rightly  used, 
might  have  served,  who  knows?  to  color  their  entire  after  lives,  now 
so  uniformly  gray  and  dull.  Education  Acts  may  interpose  with 
the  strong  hand,  and  expel  from  rural  districts  the  absohite  nihil- 
ism of  ignorance,  but  even  now  it  is  thought  too  much  to  insist 
that  th<i  system  of  oscillation  between  field-toil  and  the  three  R's 
Enould  be  replaced  by  a  continuous  cultivation  of  intelligence  dur- 
ing the  whole  period  of  childhood. 

Some  few  years  ago  the  propriety  of  newspaper  readers  was 
greatly  shocked  at  learning,  for  the  first  time,  some  of  the  domestic 
economies  practiced  by  the  farmers.  That  children  of  both  sexes, 
fast  growing  up  into  picn  and  women,  should  have  but  one  sleeping 
cpartment  between  them,  or,  as  proved  to  be  sometimes  the  case, 
should  share  that  of  their  parents,  was,  of  course,  looked  upon  as 
intolerable.  And  it  is  fair  to  say  that  there  is  no  farmer  at  all  alive 
to  the  duties  inseparable  from  property  who  does  not  now  take  care 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  15 

that  every  new  cottage  he  builds  should  have  at  least  three  bed 
rooms.  But  even  where  this  accommodation  is  provided,  there  is 
often  great  difficulty  in  securing  the  end  in  view,  and  if  the  third 
bedroom  is  given  up  to  the  lodger  for  the  sake  of  the  few  pence  he 
brings,  the  mischief  sought  to  be  remedied  is  only  heightened  by 
the  arrangement.  It  is  impossible  to  guage  the  harm  that  may  be 
done  to  any  young  girl,  however  naturally  pure,  by  allowing  her  to 
become  familiar  with  the  coarser  forms  of  life  which  it  is  part  of 
the  work  of  civilization,  to  throw  into  the  background,  and  it  may 
be  doubted  whether  respectability  could  ever  hold  its  own  but  for 
the  conventionalities  with  which  it  is  fenced  about.  The  maiden's 
best  safeguard  consists  in  her  ignorance,  which  is  here  only  an- 
other word  for  innocence,  and  when  the  rude  scenes  of  her  early 
days  nave  done  away  with  this,  the  risk  which  she  runs  when  she 
goes  into  the  world,  is  intensified  tenfold.  The  evil  here  glanced  at 
will  never  be  successfully  grappled  with  until  the  cottager  is  taught 
that  if  it  is  his  landlord's  duty  to  afford  him  sufficient  room  for  his 
family,  it  is  no  less  his  own  to  adjust  his  family  to  the  room. 

If  what  has  been  said  is  true  of  the  country,  it  is  also  true  of  the 
town.  There,  however,  the  social  problem  is  further  complicated 
by  the  general  conflict  now  raging  between  labor  and  capital .  The 
disastrous  result  of  over-population  in  our  great  centers  of  industry 
as  far  exceeds  the  inconveniences  which  arise  from  a  plethora 
elsewhere,  as  the  intelligence  of  a  skilled  mechanic  does  that  of  the 
hedger  and  ditcher. 

If  there  is  no  remedy  for  the  distress  and  discontent  which 
meet  us  at  every  turn  but  the  form  of  prudential  check  first  insisted 
on  by  ilalthus  in  his  famous  Essay  on  Population,  we  had  bast  yield 
to  our  fate  with  as  much  resignation  as  we  can  muster .  For  Mal- 
thus  offered  man  only  two  alternatives,  between  which  he  held  it  a 
plain  duty  for  him  to  choose:  either  total  abjuration  of  marriage, 
or  its  postponement,  however  long,  until  means  of  subsistence 
should  have  been  secured  sufficiently  ample  to  render  future  penury 


16  COMMON  SENSE  LIMRARY. 

impossible.  Lofty  precepts  such  as  these,  for  lofty  they  assuredly 
were,  were  at  once  condemned  as  betraying  lamentable  defects  of 
heart  or  head;  some  denouncing  them  as  the  profane  utterances  of 
the  skeptic,  others  as  the  ravings  of  the  doctrinaire.  Both  judg- 
ments were  undeserved;  the  one  because  experience  teaches  us  that 
Providence  suffers  us,  if  we  will,  to  ruin  both  ourselves  and  those 
about  us,  so  far  as  this  life  is  concerned;  the  other  because  vast 
numbers  of  men  make  it  no  secret  that  they  remain  bachelors  sim- 
ply because  they  can  not  afford  to  marry .  There  are,  however,  ob- 
jections to  Malthus^  remedy  which  are  fatal  to  its  general  adoption, 
and  these,  as  I  conceive,  are  as  follows:  first,  it  seeks  to  deprive  us, 
at  the  very  crisis  when  we  are  least  amenable  to  reason,  of  nearly  all 
that  cheers  and  ennobles  life,  without  offering  any  moral  equiva- 
lent or  any  which,  we  are  capable  of  realizing  as  such .  Secondly, 
it  fails  to  furnish  any  standard  of  competence  to  which  we  can  re- 
fer with  security,  since  it  prescribes  no  ascertainable  limit  to  the 
number  of  the  family,  and,  therefore,  none  to  the  pecuniary  wants 
of  the  marrying  parties.  The  first  objection  lies  so  much  on  the 
surface  as  not  to  call  for  any  explanation,  and  all  that  Malthus 
had  to  say  on  the  other  head  may  be  summed  up  in  his  own  words: 
"With  regard  to  the  expression  of  later  marriages,  it  should  al- 
ways be  recollected  that  it  refers  to  no  particular  age,  but  is  en- 
tirely comparative.  The  marriages  in  England  are  later  than  in 
France,  the  natural  consequence  of  that  prudence  and  respectabil- 
ity generated  by  a  better  government;  and  can  we  doubt  that  good 
has  been  the  result?  The  marriages  in  this  country  are  now  later 
than  they  were  before  the  Eevolution,  and  I  feel  firmly  persuaded 
that  the  increased  healthiness  observed  of  late  years  could  not  have 
taken  place  without  this  accompanying  circumstance.  Two  or  three 
years  in  the  average  age  of  marriage — by  lengthening  each  genera- 
tion, and  tending  in  a  small  degree  both  to  diminish  the  prolific- 
ness  of  marriages,  and  the  number  of  born  living  to  be  married — 
may  make  a  considerable  difference  in  the  rate  of  increase,  and  be 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  1? 

adequate  to  allow  for  a  considerably  diminished  mortality.  But  I 
would  on  no  account  talk  of  any  limits  whatever.  The  only  plain 
and  intelligible  measure  with  regard  to  marriage  is  the  having  a 
fair  prospect  of  being  able  to  maintain  a  family." 

And  he  subjoins  in  a  note: 

"The  lowest  prospect  with  which  a  man  can  be  justified  in  mar- 
rying seems  to  be  the  power.,  when  in  health,  of  earning  such  wages 
as,  at  the  average  price  of  corn,  will  maintain  the  average  number 
of  living  children  to  a  marriage." 

These  passages  suffice  to  show  the  shortcomings  of  Malthus' 
teaching,  and  its  powerlessness  to  grapple  with  the  evil's  he  strove 
to  remove.  It  is  not  addressed  to  the  middle  classes  at  all;  and, 
although  philosophic  minds  accept  the  reasoning  as  conclusive,  the 
burden  of  the  practice  is  laid  exclusively  on  the  shoulders  of  those 
who  are  least  capable  of  following  the  argument.  A  social  crusade 
so  conducted  is  certain  to  achieve  little  or  nothing.  By  a  strange 
and  unnatural  inversion,  it  sends  the  weak  and  helpless  to  the  bat- 
tle, and  leaves  the  stronger  forces  idle  at  home.  The  poor  have 
many  special  virtues,  but  it  is  too  much  to  expect  that  in  this  par- 
ticular they  should  have  a  complete  monopoly  of  wisdom  and  self- 
sacrifice.  To  tell  a  laboring  man  who  has  the  chance  of  a  cottage 
that  he  is  not,  on  prudential  grounds,  to  think  of  marrying  until 
he  has  mastered  the  law  of  averages,  and  that  even  when  he  is  run- 
ning a  considerable  risk,  is  little  else  than  solemn  mockery,  and  he 
is  entitled  to  retort  that  he  does  not  care  to  be  more  prudent  than 
his  betters.  To  him  a  wife  is  infinitely  more  necessary  than  to 
those  of  ampler  means;  for,  th  public  house  apart,  all  his  material 
comforts  must  be  looked  for  in  his  own  home,  while  his  richer 
neighbors  may  satisfy  all'  their  wants  abroad.  It  is  one  thing  to 
have  a  club-kitchen,  and  another  to  have  a  kitchen  for  your  club. 
If,  indeed,  we  could  all  become  perfect  beings,  the  rule  of  life  de- 
duced by  Malthus  from  the  unalterable  law  of  population,  would 
be  both  practicable  and  safe;  as  it  is,  it  has  a  direct  tendency  to 


18  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

promote  the  cardinal  vice  of  cities — that  of  unchastity .  The  num- 
ber of  women  who  ply  the  loathsome  trade  of  prostitution  is  al- 
ready large  enough  to  people  a  county,  and,  as  our  great  thorough- 
fares show  at  nightfall',  is  certainly  not  diminishing.  Their  chief 
supporters  justify  themselves  by  the  plea  which  Malthas  uses  to 
enforce  the  duty  of  continence,  namely,  that  they  are  not  well 
enough  off  to  maintain  a  wife  and  family.  If  they  could  be  sure 
that  they  could  limit  the  number  of  their  children  so  as  to  make  it 
commensurate  with  their  income,  not  only  would  the  plea  be  gen- 
erally groundless,  but  I  believe  it  would  not  be  urged,  and  the  so- 
called  Social  Evil  would  be  stormed  in  its  strongest  fortress.  The 
vice  itself  would  become  more  immoral1,  because  more  without  ex- 
cuse, and  its  greater  immorality  would,  as  in  the  case  of  other  of- 
fense?, help  to  make  it  more  rare.  The  world  at  large  is  only  tol- 
erant in  matters  relating  to  the  sexes  where  the  frailty  of  human 
nature  makes  it  necessary  that  it  should  be. 

Those  who  have  followed  me  so  far  will  hardly  need  that  I 
should  add  more  by  way  of  explaining  my  meaning;  and  I  rejoice 
to  think  that  there  are  not  a  few  who  are  familiar  with  the  moral 
lesson  deducible  from  these  remarks,  and  whose  daily  practice  it 
has  long  since  served  to  shape.  It  is,  however,  one  thing  to  enter- 
tain a  private  opinion,  which,  although  we  ourselves  make  it  a  rule 
of  life,  we  never  impart  to  others,  and  another  thing  to  tabulate 
cur  ideas  on  the  subject,  and  publish  them  to  the  outside  world 
because  we  believe  that  they  ought  to  be  more  generally  held .  No 
great  social  reform  was  ever  brought  about  that  did  not  spring 
from  small  beginnings.  Even  those  laws  of  health  which  appear 
now  most  obvious  were  once  nothing  more  than  the  registered  ex- 
periences of  a  few  individuals.  Temperance  in  eating  and  drink- 
ing only  becomes  a  settled  habit  when  we  have  thoroughly  con- 
vinced ourselves  of  its  wisdom,  either  by  watching  our  own  sensa- 
iionp,  or  by  imagining  the  sensations  of  those  whom  we  have  seen 
suffer  from  its  opposite.  As  between  the  different  classes  of  so- 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  l° 

ciety,  the  higher  morality  must  always  filter  down  from  the  edu- 
cated to  the  uneducated.  To  hope  that  the  importance  of  the  lim- 
itation of  numbers  will  be  equally  appreciated  by  the  philosopher 
in  his  study  and  the  untutored  rustic  in  his  cottage,  would  be  pre- 
posterous. It  would  be  equally  absurd  to  look  for  regulative  con- 
trol after  marriage  among  the  lower  classes,  when  it  is  a  thing  com- 
paratively unknown,  and,  even  where  it  exists,  is  almost  wholly  un- 
recognized among  the  higher  classes .  When  a  rich  man  with  ten 
thousand  a  year  thinks  himself  at  liberty  to  be  the  father  of  twelve 
children,  his  workman  who  earns  $10  a  week  can  not  be  expected 
to  restrict  himself  to  two  or  three . 

Many  will  probably  think  the  practical  conclusion  to  which  I 
point  wilder  than  anything  that  Malthus  ever  dreamt,  while  others 
will  regard  it  with  dislike  or  pious  horror,  on  moral  or  religious 
grounds.  To  the  former  I  would  say,  it  is  premature  to  predict 
that  any  untried  experiment  will  fail  until  you  have  shown  that  the 
conditions  of  its  success  are  at  variance  either  with  established 
facts  or  with  ascertained  laws .  In  the  case  before  us,  the  facts  do 
not  belie  the  conclusion,  for,  I  repeat,  there  already  exists  a  school 
of  moderation,  based  on  the  convictions  here  stated,  which  boasts 
several  disciples.  I  believe  there  would  be  vastly  more,  if  the  force 
of  public  opinion  were  brought  to  bear  upon  the  question .  Of  as- 
certained laws  which  are  fatal  to  its  success  there  is  absolutely  not 
a  trace,  except  it  be  the  law  of  our  own  inclination,  which,  if  in 
earnest,  we  can  mold  as  we  choose,  each  strengthening  each  in  the 
task .  At  present,  however,  no  one  thinks  of  lifting  a  finger  to  as- 
sist his  neighbor  in  the  matter,  and  as  long  as  such  perfect  indif- 
ference prevails,  and  an  impenetrable  veil  of  mystery  is  drawn  over 
the  whole  subject,  every  man's  secret  will  perish  with  him,  and  the 
advance  of  the  human  race  in  this  all-important  department  of 
knowledge  will,  for  want  of  the  power  of  transmission,  be  no  more 
rapid  than  that  of  the  brutes.  To  those  again  who  raise  objections 
which  appear  to  themi  to  have  their  root  in  morality,  as  distinct 


-'»  COMMON  SENSK.LIISUARY. 

from  religion,  I  answer:  It  would  be  entertaining  if  it  were  not 
melancholy  to  observe  the  way  in  which,  both  in  writing  and  speak- 
ing, men  are  perpetually  admitting  the  material  inconveniences  due 
to  an  excess  of  population,  while  they  give  the  go-by  to  the  obvious 
.solution  that  the  numbers  of  children  born  after  marriage  ought  to 
be  limited  in  the  manner  I  have  endeavored  to  indicate. 

There  is,  indeed,  a  set  of  feminine  thinkers — moralizerg  rather 
than  moralists — who  pretend  to  an  intimate  acquaintance  with  the 
dispensations  of  Providence,  and,  as  Mr.  Matthew  Arnold  pithily 
puts  it,  speak  as  familiarly  of  the  Deity  "as  if  he  were  the  man  in 
ihe  next  street."  The  language  which  they  hold  is  something  of 
this  sort:  "You  who  seek  to  control  the  destinies  of  mankind,  by 
arranging  so  carefully  the  affair  of  your  family,  how  do  you  know 
you  will  ever  succeed  in  rearing  the  two  or  three  children  that,  in 
your  shallow  wisdom,  you  have  prescribed  to  yourself  as  your  ap- 
propriate number?  If  it  should  please  the  Divine  Author  of  their 
existence  to  carry  them  off  at  one  fell  swoop,  or  by  what  you  call 
accident,  your  pride  of  human  knowledge  would  have  a  proper  fall, 
and  you  would  be  forced  to  bow  your  head  in  silence  before  the 
heavenly  visitation.  Bereft  in  your  old  age  of  the  solace  you  had 
reckoned  on,  you  would  then  be  given  up  to  the  anguish  of  remorse 
and  would  weep  not  only  for  those  you  had  lost,  but  for  those  whom 
you  might  have  gained .  Your  sin  then  would  truly  have  found  you 
out."  "My  dear  madam,"  I  reply,  "do  you  not  perceive  that  this 
line  of  reasoning  has  a  double  edge?  While  you  remind  me  of  my 
ignorance,  you  really  give  me  credit 'for  more  knowledge  than  I 
can  lay  claim  to .  I  do  not  know  how  to  detect  the  occurrence  of 
these  special  interferences  which  you  dangl'e  before  my  eyes  like  a 
bugbear.  I  do  not  know  whether  my  children  will  be  alive  ten 
years  hence,  be  they  few  or  be  they  many.  I  do  know  that  if  they 
are  very  numerous  I  shall  probably  follow  one  or  more  of  them  to 
their  graves,  and  if  you  suppose  that  I  shall  sorrow  less  then  be- 
cause the  lost  ones  can  be  more  easily  spared,  you  establish  the  very 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  21 

opposite  of  your  own  position,  by  implying  that  the  instinct  of  pa- 
rental affection  is  apt  to  become  fainter,  like  light,  by  diffusion 
over  a  larger  area.  It  is  my  duty  to  foster  my  parental  instinct, 
which  is  surely  as  direct  and  precious  a  gift  to  me  as  the  children 
which  are  its  object.  I  refuse  to  be  influenced  by  any  such  selfish 
considerations  as  those  you  seem  to  suggest.  If  there  are  two  paths 
before  me,  I  shall  choose  the  one  that  appears  most  in  keeping  with 
my  entire  being  and  with  the  general  good .  I  can  not  tell'  even 
whether  I  shall  or  not  outlive  my  own  wife,  but  as  I  hold  that  mon- 
ogamy is  the  purest  and  best  form  of  marriage,  I  am  not  going  to 
turn  Mormon  by  way  of  meeting  the  contingency." 

It  is  equally  futile  to  attempt,  as  some  do,  to  cut  short  the  dis- 
cussion by  quoting  the  old  injunction,  "Increase  and  multiply,  and 
replenish  the  earth,"  for  the  cogency  of  the  command  has  long 
been  exhausted  in  its  fulfillment.  "Happy  is  the  man  that  hath  his 
quiver  full  of  them,"  says  the  Psalmist,  and  he  adds  as  a  reason, 
"they  shall  speak  with  the  enemies  in  the  gate."  It  would  be  dif- 
ficult to  show  that  such  a  text  gives  any  encouragement  to  large 
families  at  the  present  day,  and  it  is  certain  that  no  poor  clerk  or 
parson  ever  harps  on  the  string  of  consolation  when  he  surveys  the 
numerous  olive  branches  round  about  his  table .  But  however  ap- 
posite the  biblical  extract  may  seem,  the  time  is  past  when  the  lan- 
guage of  a  remote  age,  addresised  to  a  wholly  different  race,  can  be 
detached  from  its  historical  surrounding  and  cited  as  a  rule  of  mod- 
ern life .  To  do  this  is  to  extinguish  the  spirit  of  the  ancient  rec- 
ords for  the  sake  of  the  letter  which  kil'leth . 

The  chief  end  of  marriage,  be  it  said  in  all  thankfulness,  is  a 
great  deal  higher  than  this .  It  is  a  marvelous  instrument  of  edu- 
cation. It  develops  the  sense  of  moral  responsibility,  and,  there- 
fore, the  mainspring  of  right  action,  more  completely  than  any 
other  determinant  of  our  lives .  It  imparts  strength  to  the  weaker 
nature,  and  softness  and  moral  beauty  to  the  stronger,  blessing  at 
once  both  him  that  takes  and  her  that  gives .  The  sweet  compan- 


22  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

ionship  of  well  matched  minds,  whose  most  potent  bond  of  union 
lies  in  the  very  fact  of  their  difference,  is,  in  itself,  almost  a  Re- 
ligion; for  it  quickens  the  spiritual  instincts  and  enlarges  the  so- 
cial sympathies.  To  refuse  marriage  to  men  altogether,  or  to  re- 
quire them  to  postpone  it  indefinitely  after  the  maturity  of  their 
judgment  has  justified  their  choice,  is  to  inflict  an  injury  on  the 
whole  community  by  encouraging  special1  forms  of  evil,  perhaps 
even  calling  them  into  existence.  Many  a  woman  whose  daily  life 
is  now  dedicated  to  her  dress  or  her  household,  or  who  has  become 
BO  entangled  in  the  narrow  meshes  of  acquaintanceship — which  she 
dignifies  by  the  name  of  society — as  not  to  have  an  idea  beyond, 
might  have  escaped  all  this  bondage  if  imagined  necessity  had  not 
doomed  her  to  spinsterhood .  Many  a  man  into  whose  soul  has 
stolen  the  slow  poison  of  moral  and  intellectual  cynicism,  might 
have  retained  his  early  freshness  if  the  example  of  some  friend  had 
not  taught  him  to  remain  rather  than  succumb  to  the  yoke  of  mar- 
riage, with  its  heavy,  because  uncertain,  burdens.  Meantime  better, 
perhaps,  not  to  pry  .too  closely  into  the  consolations  which  he  al- 
lows himself,  or  the  mode  in  which  he  seeks  to  reconcile  what  is 
with  what  might  have  been.  If,  as  the  phrase  runs,  the  woman 
is  the  victim  of  the  man,  the  man  is  as  much  the  victim  of  the  pre- 
vailing ideas  respecting  marriage  which  have  raised  unbridled  li- 
cense to  the  level  of  positive  law . 

Marriage,  followed  by  the  birth  of  children,  stands  upon  a  high- 
er platform  than  marriage  which  is  wholly  unfruitful.     Children 
serve  to  impart  a  new  impulse  to  all  that  is  noble  in  the  character 
of  both  parents,  diverting  old  feelings  into  new  channels  of  love. 
Provided  their  number  is  so  limited,  as  that  they  engage  the  af- 
fections without  distracting  them,  and  stimulate  the  mind  without 
overtaxing  it,  the  result  is  immeasurably  good.    Let  this  boundary 
line  be  overstepped,  and  all  is  thrown  into  confusion.    That  which  ' 
might  have  been  a  source  of  additional  strength  becomes    a    very 
fountain  of  weakness,  and  the  blessing  is,  at  least  to  the  eye  of  the 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  23 

impartial  bystander,  turned  into  a  curse.  I  do  not  say  that  the 
curse  is  not,  in  the  parent's  case  occasionally  turned  back  again 
into  a  blessing;  but  it  is  the  blessing  which  springs  from  resigna- 
tion, and  not  that  which  springs  from  hope .  The  hermit  in  his 
wilderness  did  better  than  this.  If  he  filled  up  his  cup  of  misery 
for  himself,  he  never  offered  it  to  others  to  drink,  and  at  the  close 
of  his  days  he  could  reflect  that  he  had  laid  no  load  on  any  one 
else's  back.  He  did  not  add  to  the,  cares  of  the  next  generation  by 
an  unthinking  and  needless  augmentation  of  its  ranks.  He  left 
behind  him  no  representatives  for  whom  society  was  bound  to  pro- 
vide, because,  for  lack  of  opportunity  or  power  of  push,  they  were 
incapable  of  providing  for  themselves.  He  made  no  contribution 
to  the  happiness  of  the  human  family,  but  he  certainly  did  nothing 
to  diminish  it. 

The  conditions  of  our  existence  are  far  more  elastic  than  is 
commonly  believed.  I  hold  that  this  elasticity  consists  in  the  lim- 
itation of  the  number  of  the  family  by  obedience  to  natural  laws, 
which  all  may  discover  and  verify  if  they  will,  and  that  such  lim- 
itation is  as  much  the  duty  of  married  persons  as  the  observance  of 
chastity  is  the  duty  of  those  that  are  unmarried .  One  of  the  main 
wants  of  the  day  is,  as  I  conceive,  the  formation  of  a  sound  public 
opinion  on  this  subject.  Once  started,  it  would  gather  force  rapid- 
ly, and  at  last  effect  a  social  revolution  of  the  highest  importance — 
a  revolution  of  which  the  course  would  not  be  traced  in  blood  or 
riot,  but  in  man's  moral,  intellectual  and  material  growth.  The 
change  can  not  take  its  rise  in  that  quarter  where  it  would  yield , 
the  most  beneficial  results — among  the  lowest  strata  of  the  people . 
It  must  begin,  in  the  first  instance,  with  those  above  them,  and, 
indeed,  with  the  most  educated  of  these .  Let  men  co-operate  to 
this  end,  and  the  opinions  here  expressed  will  soon  ripen  into  a 
creed,  which  will'  be  the  watchword  of  no  sect  or  party,  will  fetter 
no  freedom  or  thought,  but  be  accepted  as  Nature's  teaching,  and 
a  symbol  of  common  devotion  to  the  welfare  of  humanity . 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.          23 


Sboulb  the  poov 


The  rapid  increase  of  population  in  our  humbler  ranks  of  life  is 
held  by  many  thinkers  to  be  prolific  of  social  evils.  As  a  rule  the 
poor  have  large  families.  Rural  industries  are  few,  and  their  wages 
low.  Hence  there  is  a  constant  influx  from  the  country  to  the 
towns,  so  much  so,  that  a  writer  recently  asserted  that  no  Londoner 
born  and  bred  could  trace  for  himself  three  generations  of  London 
ancestors.  Town  occupations  are  thus  overcrowded,  and  thousands 
unable  to  find  employment. 

To  remedy  the  miseries  arising  from  this  state  of  things 
numerous  schemes  have  been,  from  time  to  time,  proposed: — As 
Emigration,  Malthusianism,  and  Abstention  from  Marriage.  With- 
out discussing  at  present  the  remedial  value  of  the  two  first,  we 
address  ourselves  to  the  last-named,  especially  as  the  immoral  and 
baleful  doctrine — as  we  consider  it — is  widely  held,  that  marriage 
is  a  luxury  to  be  indulged  in  by  the  well-to-do  only. 

The  question,  then,  whether  the  poor  ought  to  marry  or  not  is 
bound  to  interest  many  readers.  A  few  observations  on  the  subject 
may,  therefore,  be  acceptable,  particularly  as  many  things  have  to 
be  considered  before  a  just  decision  can  be  drawn;  for  an  act  may 
be  legally  right  and  morally  wrong  or  morally  right  and  legally 
wrong.  It  may  be  good  for  the  individual,  and  bad  for  the  com- 
munity, or  vice  versa. 


26  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

It  is  impossible  to  lay  down  any  definite  income  to  indicate  what 
is  meant  by  "poor,"  because  what  would  be  poverty  to  one  would 
be  wealth  to  another.  Any  man,  no  matter  how  much  he  possesses, 
who  is  pinched  and  harassed  by  his  requirements,  and  whose  rea- 
sonable wants  exceed  his  means  of  supplying  them,  is  really  poor. 
The  Stoic  philosophers  of  old  time  taught  that  the  way  to  ba  rich 
was  to  reduce  our  wants,  to  dispense  with  everything  which  was 
not  necessary  to  a  healthy  life.  And  thus,  as  the  story  goes,  the 
cynic  Diogenes,  who  restricted  himself  to  a  tub  to  dwell  in,  and 
a  wooden  bowl  for  drinking  from,  threw  the  latter  away  when  he 
saw  a  thirsty  soldier  drink  out  of  his  hands. 

But  we  are  none  of  us  Stoics,  and  very  few  philosophers.  We 
are  mostly  practical,  matter-of-fact  people,  who  run  our  wheels  in 
the  common  ruts,  and  copy  the  ways  of  the  world.  We  want  to 
live,  and  live  respectably,  after  the  fashion  of  our  fellows,  and  the 
question  really  intended  is— Would  people  of  very  limited  incomes 
be  better  or  worse  for  marrying? 

Before  we  could  answer  this,  we  should  want  to  know  what 
sort  of  people  they  are.  If  they  have  small  incomes  and  extravagant 
habits  or  tastes,  or  if  they  are  deficient  in  energy  and  business 
aptitude,  or  even  in  moral  principles,  then  they  had  far  better 
remain  single.  But  if  they  are  the  converse  of  all  these,  marriage 
will  not  only  be  suitable^  but  highly  desirable.  Paradoxical  as  it 
may  seem,  a  good  and  thrifty  wife  would  make  the  late  bachelor's 
income  go  farther  for  two  than  for  one.  Her  deft  and  ready 
fingers  would,  at  the  same  time,  multiply  his  comforts.  Her 
thrifty  and  careful  habits  would  prove  the  safest  guardians  of  his 
humble  store. 

We  presume,  of  course,  that  the  marriage  is  prompted  by  love, 
otherwise  it  is  likely  to  be  a  failure.  Only  rich  people  can  venture 
to  marry  without  it,  as  they  have  other  compensations,  of  which 
we  do  not  approve,  but  which  they  often  seem  to  imagine  suits 
them  just  as  well. 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  27 

To  our  thinking  a  loveless  marriage  is  not  only  an  unnatural 
union,  but  is  sheer  folly  or  downright  wickedness.  People  will 
sometimes  say,  "Oh,  but  love  will  come  after  marriage."  Very 
rarely.  The  chances  are  too  many  against  it.  An  intelligent  and 
mutual  affection,  however,  is  in  itself  marriage,  and  we  must  not 
be  led  away  by  supposing  that  a  ceremony  can  ever  be  anything 
more  than  a  ceremony. 

There  are  others  reasons  why  poor  people  of  suitable  disposi- 
tions, as  mentioned,  should  marry.  Marriage  calls  forth  all  the 
latent  good  that  may  be  in  them.  It  enlarges  their  sympathies  and 
their  hopes;  it  gives  incentive  to  action  and  solidity  to  character; 
it  steadies  the  wavering,  and  saves  those  who  would  otherwise  be 
lost.  The  home  may  be  poorly  furnished,  and  wanting  in  many 
things,  but  love  brightens  and  cheers  the  humblest  cottage.  And, 
after  all,  it  is  a  real  home,  where  two  brave  soul's  cherish  and  com- 
fort each  other.  And  when  the  children  come,  the  parents  have 
ripened  by  experience,  and  have  discovered  the  means  whereby  to 
provide  for  them .  Often,  too,  they  come  as  God's  angel's,  to  heal  a 
wounded  heart  or  to  strengthen  a  weak  spirit. 

Thus,  poor  and  rich  are  not  absolute,  but  relative  terms.  For 
man  is  not  nourished  by  bread  alone,  but  by  thought  and  action, 
and  innocent  pleasures,  and  above  all  by  sympathy.  The  confirmed 
bachelor  is  apt  to  develop  a  hard  and  selfish  nature;  the  old  maid 
is  too  likely  to  become  sour  and  crusty;  and  not  because  their 
characters  are  worse  than  those  of  others,  but  because  their  cir- 
cumstances have  not  been  favorable  for  the  growth  of  their  higher 
feelings.  True  marriage  is  often  like  Moses'  rod,  which  smote  the 
hard  rock  and  refreshing  waters  gushed  forth.  They  were  hidden, 
pent  up,  waiting  for  the  friendly  touch  that  should  free  them. 

Of  course  a  certain  measure  of  prudence  should  be  exercised 
before  engaging  in  marriage.  A  man  should  see  his  way  to  ful- 
filling all  reasonable  responsibilities,  and  in  so  important  a  matter 
— the  most  important  of  his  life — should  weigh  well  what  he  is 


•>s  COMMON  SENSE  LIBRARY. 

about  to  do.  As  a  rule,  the  character  of  his  wife  is  of  more  conse- 
quence than  the  amount  of  his  income.  If  the  latter  would  be 
sufficient  in  the  hands  of  a  prudent  and  domesticated  woman,  and 
he  is  attached  to  such  a  one  in  mutual  love,  then  the  sooner  they 
marry  the  better.  Let  them  do  so  in  the  bloom  of  life,  and  enjoy 
each  other's  society  while  hope  and  energy  are  strong,  and  not 
wait  until  the  world  has  embittered  them  or  crushed  out  all  the 
happy  buoyancy  of  their  youth.  There  is  another  advantage  in 
early  manage,  their  children  will  have  grown  up  before  they  them- 
selves have  passed  middle  age,  and  will  bo  able,  perhaps,  to  have 
the  felicity  of  returning  their  parents'  care  by  assisting  them 
should  their  old  age  need  it. 

By  far  too  much  is  made  of  the  difference  between  rich  and 
poor.  Those  who  have  experienced  both  states  know  that  human 
happiness  is  much  the  same  in  each.  Wealth  has  its  drawbacks  as 
well  as  poverty,  and  possibly  if  at  the  close  of  life  we  could  all  add 
up  correctly,  we  should  find  that  the  balance  of  happiness  is  rather 
on  the  side  of  the  poor.  If  their  sorrows  are  sharp  their  joys  are 
keener,  and  their  power  of  endurance  greater.  They  never  exper- 
ience that  satiety  of  living  which  comes  from  satiety  of  pleasure. 
They  could  not  understand  the  pangs  of  povety  in  the  breast  of 
that  luxurious  Roman  who  committed  suicide  because  he  had  only 
£80,000  left.  Simple  habits  and  natural  taste  are  far  more  con- 
ducive to  enjoyment  than  many  are  aware  of.  Every-day  duty 
gives  a  zest  for  harmless  recreation,  and  many  a  good-natured 
father,  who  takes  his  little  ones  of  a  Sunday  for  a  quiet  stroll  in  a 
country  lane,  when  the  hawthorn  or  the  honey-suckle  is  in  bloom, 
derives  more  solid  happiness  from  this  than  if  he  were  a  prince 
and  played  at  Monte  Carlo. 

It  is  the  custom  nowadays  to  flatter  the  working  classes  by 
ascribing  to  them  all  the  virtues.  But  those  are  not  their  true 
friends  who  do  this.  Every  class  has  its  own  virtues  and  Vices, 
and  the  working  class  has  its.  They  would  do  well  to  remember 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO. 

that  political'  suffrage  does  not  give  political  wisdom,  and  that  a 
restricted  education  must  pioduce  a  restricted  intelligence.  Their 
improved  condition  will  depend  not  on  extraneous  assistance,  not 
on  Acts  of  Parliament,  nor  the  nostrums  of  economical  and  political 
quacks,  but  on  themselves.  They  must  set  themselves  a  higher 
standard  of  education,  and  a  higher  code  of  morality  before  they 
can  make  any  considerable  advance.  Only  those  who  live  in  a 
fool's  paradise  believe  in  the  power  of  Parliaments  to  effect  a  great 
social  reform,  which,  like  rhat  of  an  individual,  must  proceed  from 
within.  Drink,  for  instance,  is  the  greatest  hindrance  to  their 
prosperity,  and  the  happiness  of  their  married  lives.  Many  think 
that,  if  all  the  public-houses  were  closed  by  Act  of  Parliament, 
England  would  be  changed  f rom»  a  drunken  to  a  sober  nation.  This 
is  pure  delusion.  The  fanatics  of  the  State  of  Maine  caused  it  to 
be  tried  there  by  law,  but  Mr.  Justin  McCarthy  has  given  us  his 
experience  of  the  working  of  this  Act.  People  drank  as  much  as 
before,  and  Mr.  McCarthy  found  no  difficulty  in  getting  his  native 
whiskey  anywhere,  even  or-  a  Sunday.  We  deplore  intoxication 
even  as  much  as  Sir  Wilfrid  Lawson  does,  but  we  do  not  think 
Englishmen  and  Irishmen  will  ever  suffer  themselves  to  be  dra- 
gooned into  becoming  teetotallers  or  anything  else.  Although 
the  poor  frequently  undergo  many  unavoidable  privations,  the 
necessaries  of  life  are  cheap,  and  wages  higher  than  on  the  Conti- 
nent. There  they  find  no  difficulty  in  marrying.  This  seems  to 
require  some  explanation  from  those  concerned.  Can  it  be  true, 
as  Mons.  Louis  Blouet  (Max  O'Kell1),  author  of  "John  Bull  and 
his  island/'  said  in  his  lecture  at  Westbourne  Park,  some  time  ago, 
that  much  harm  arises  from  the  desire  of  the  poor  to  ape  the  class 
above  them?  This,  he  said,  prevails  in  England  much  more  than 
on  the  Continent.  There  a  poor  man  is  not  ashamed  to  go  to 
church  in  his  blouse,  and  servant  girl's,  do  not  attempt  to  vie  with 
their  mistresses  in  airs  and  dress,  as  they  do  here.  We  regret  the 
loss  of  that  modest  humility  which  was  once  the  grace  of  the 


30  COMMON  SEXSK  LIMRARY. 

poor — that  honesty  of  deportment  which  preserved  them  from 
affecting  to  be  other  than  they  were.  Even  in  these  revolutionary 
times  there  are  some  things  worth  preserving. 

Should  poor  people  marry?  As  well  ask,  should  the  course  of 
labor  stand  still?  Should  the  grass  grow  in  our  streets,  and  the 
cobwebs  rot  on  our  walls?  Should  the  lands  lie  untilled,  and  the 
seas  unploughed?  Should  the  shuttle  cease,  and  the  anvil'  be  silent? 
In  a  word,  should  famine  and  pestilence,  hunger  and  fury,  desola- 
tion sway  as  of  old?  For  all  these  would  hoppen  were  the  sons 
and  daughters  of  labor  to  cease  breeding  the  workers  of  our  in- 
dustrial hives.  Let  none  despise  labor,  nor  be  ashamed  of  it.  It 
is  the  foundation  of  all  dignity,  all1  goodness,  and  all  true  happi- 
ness. It  is  only  idleness  that  is  contemptible. 

And  if,  in  the  great  battle  with  and  against  the  forces  of 
Nature,  thousands,  enfeebled  by  fight,  or  folly,  fall'  out  of  the  ranks 
as  paupers,  the  workers  must  not  on  that  account  be  discouraged, 
nor  despise  their  lot.  The  rich  have  their  paupers  as  well  as  the 
poor.  As  a  rule,  their  eldest  sons  inherit  their  father's  wealth, 
and  the  younger  are  thrown  upon  the  resources  of  their  country. 
Most  of  the  good  things  in  the  Army,  Navy  and  Church  fall1  to  the 
poor  of  high  connections.  It  is  only  rarely  that  superior  ability 
is  allowed  to  take  precedence  of  incompetent  rank.  But  we  shall' 
change  all  that  before  long.  There  are  good  times  in  store  for  the 
poor,  if  they  will  prepare  themselves  to  use  them  wisely.  When- 
ever they  can  perceive  the  suicidal  folly  of  strikes  and  the  futility 
of  multiplied  laws;  when  they  acquire  generally  that  love  of  moral- 
ity which  teaches  that  only  honest  work  deserves  honest  payment, 
and  learn  to  scorn  the  man  who  scam.ps  his  duty  as  they  would  any 
other  vulgar  cheat;  when  they  regard  women  with  greater  respect, 
and  are  kinder  to  their  own;  when  they  free  themselves  from  the 
indulgence  of  filthy  language  and  debasing  habits,  and  find  that 
pleasure  in  intellectual  pursuits  which  the  best  of  them  have  al- 
ready found;  when  they  see  that  to  be  free  the  rights  of  all  must 


ATLAS  BLOCK,  CHICAGO.  31 

be  respected  alike,  then  the  economic  and  social  problems  which 
afflict  us  now  will  have  been  solved.  Honesty  and  morality  will 
bless  every  household.  "The  Cottage  Homes  of  England"  will  be 
happy  homes;  marriage  will  be  regarded  as  the  sacred  birthright 
of  all.  Good  Charles  Mackay,  the  poor  man's  poet,  who  wrote 
"There's  a  good  time  coming,  boys:  wait  a  little  longer,"  alao 
wrote — 

"For  every  up  there  is  a  down, 

For  every  folly  shame; 
And  retribution  follows  guilt 

As  burning  follows  flame. 

If  wrong  you  do,  if  false  you  play, 

In  summer  among  the  flowers; 
You  must  o.tone,  you  shall  repay, 

In  winter  among  the  showers." 


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